Calming Stormy Thoughts and Feelings

By Beverly Flaxington

Beverly Flaxington - March 2016 - 2inch

Beverly Flaxington

Life is filled with unexpected and sometimes unwelcome events. As you age, you may worry more about things like health, adult children or the grandchildren. Money worries increase if savings can’t replace the regular paycheck. If you give in to all of the fears and concerns, it can be hard to get out of bed in the morning.
Life doesn’t give us a rewind switch. There is no going back. There is only today and tomorrow. Start living life to the fullest and refusing to give in to the negative thoughts and feelings.

When life hands you problems that sometimes seem insurmountable consider these five steps to calming your personal seas to sail through the storms that assail you:

Make a list of your obstacles. That’s right, write down the things that concern you, that worry you, that get in the way of your happiness. Once you record them, don’t stop there. Take that list and organize it: What can you control? What can you influence? What’s out of your control? Focus only on those things within your control or influence. Make a conscious decision not to waste precious time focusing on things you simply cannot control.

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Flaxington’s new book ‘Self-talk for a Calmer You’ helps readers understand the power of positive thoughts to help with life’s difficulties.

Create a set of success outcomes for you. What would make you happy or experience success? Write down both qualitative and quantitative elements. Paint a picture with words, or drawing that connotes what you want to accomplish, do or be. Anytime your mind takes you to what you don’t want, bring it back – deliberately – to what you do want. Employ the “act as if” philosophy and focus on where you want to go, not what’s in your way.
Develop a clear plan of action. There will be things you can’t control such as a health diagnosis, or a child in financial trouble or a need to move from where you have lived for a long time. Your plan should focus on those things you can control – can’t make the diagnosis go away, but can you do something to live better than you have been with it? Can’t control your child’s behavior but can you focus on something that will bring you joy somewhere else? You might have to move, but can you take the steps to move somewhere meaningful to you?
Break the plan down into discreet steps of action. Instead of a looming issue like “I have to move and it is depressing and overwhelming,” create individual steps you can take each day. Explore options. Visit different places. Talk to others. Resolve to small steps and promise yourself you’ll enjoy the process.
Watch your self-talk. One thing you can control is the way you speak to yourself about what’s happening. Don’t allow negative self-talk to tell you how to act and feel. Watch your words and reframe whenever possible. “An unwanted move” becomes “a life adventure” or “new beginnings.” It isn’t being false; it’s choosing to take another view that is more beneficial to you.
About The Author
Beverly D Flaxington is a three-time bestselling and Gold-award winning author. Her trademarked process, The SHIFT Model® is outlined in her book, Make Your Shift: The Five Most Powerful Moves You Can Make to Get to Where You Want to Go. She also authored, Self-Talk for a Calmer You. Beverly is in her personal golden years and taking advantage of every moment!
You may contact or follow her on twitter at: (508) 359 – 8216; http://www.the-collaborative.com or on Twitter: @BevFlaxington.