By Leon Merian, SRES
Realtor, Compass
For many older adults, the question of whether to stay in the home they’ve loved for decades or move to something new isn’t just about square footage or property taxes – it’s emotional, personal, and often tied to identity. After all, this is the home where holidays were hosted, kids were raised, and life was lived. But as needs change with age, so too should the conversation about whether your current home still supports the life you want.
If you’ve found yourself or a loved one asking, “Should I stay, or is it time to go?” – you’re not alone. It’s one of the most common questions I hear from older adults, and it’s not always an easy one to answer. But with some thoughtful reflection and the right resources, the decision becomes much clearer.
One of the first things to evaluate is whether your current home supports your physical needs today, and whether it will tomorrow. Are there stairs that are becoming harder to manage? A bathroom that lacks grab bars? Is the laundry in the basement? Even if you’re getting by now, it’s worth thinking about how your mobility might change in the next five to 10 years.
There are wonderful aging-in-place professionals and contractors who can assess your home and recommend modifications. In many cases, thoughtful changes like stair lifts, walk-in showers, and improved lighting can make a big difference. But if extensive renovations are required, the cost and disruption may tip the scales in favor of moving.
Every home requires work, but some more than others. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by yard work, snow removal, repairs, or general upkeep, that’s a sign to pause and reassess.
I often ask clients: If you had to take care of this house on your own for the next 10 years, would you want to? If the answer is no – or if you’re relying on family members or neighbors for more and more help – it may be time to explore simpler, more manageable housing options.
Another critical consideration is social connection. Are you still connected to your community? Do you have friends or family nearby? Are you getting out regularly and engaging with others?
As we age, our social circles can shrink. If you’ve lost a partner, have fewer local friends, or feel disconnected from your neighborhood, moving to a community that offers activities, social opportunities, or proximity to family can be transformative. I’ve seen clients thrive after relocating, not because they found a newer kitchen, but because they found connection.
Let’s also talk about finances. For many older adults, the home is their largest asset, and it may be underutilized. Downsizing can free up significant financial resources that can be used to support retirement, healthcare, travel, or helping children and grandchildren.
On the other hand, staying put can be the more affordable option, especially if the mortgage is paid off and taxes are manageable. The key is to run the numbers honestly. A good financial planner or real estate advisor can help you weigh the costs of staying versus selling. I can help make those introductions as I leave my “real estate hat” at the door until everything else is taken care of.
There are also local and state programs that offer tax deferrals, home improvement grants, or reverse mortgage options to help seniors stay in their homes longer. It’s not always an either/or –sometimes there’s a third option worth exploring.
Beyond logistics and dollars, there’s also the emotional piece. Are you emotionally ready to let go of the place you’ve called home? Are you attached to the memories in the walls, or are you feeling burdened by the “stuff” that comes with it?
It’s okay to be sentimental. I always say, you’re not getting rid of memories, you’re making space for new ones. Sometimes, working with a professional organizer, move manager, or a patient real estate agent can make the process less overwhelming and more empowering.
If you’re leaning toward selling, timing can be everything. The real estate market, interest rates, and demand in your neighborhood all play a role. A trusted local agent can help you understand your home’s current value and whether now is a good time to list.
But remember: the right time isn’t just about the market. It’s about when you feel ready –logistically, financially, and emotionally.
So, should you stay or should you move? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some people thrive staying right where they are with a few modifications and some support. Others feel a huge sense of relief and freedom when they downsize or relocate to a community that better fits their current lifestyle.
What matters most is that the decision is yours, and is made with clarity, confidence, and support.
If you’re unsure where to begin, start with a conversation. Talk to your family. Talk to a real estate professional who understands the needs of older adults. Talk to someone who can offer more than just “market value” – someone who will help you see the whole picture.
As a Realtor who specializes in working with older adults, I’ve guided many families through this very process with care, patience, and the understanding that this isn’t just about a house. It’s about your life.
Whether you plan to move next month or in five years, I’d be happy to meet for a cup of coffee and simply talk it through. No pressure; just support, and a plan tailored to you.
Because at the end of the day, the most important thing isn’t whether you stay or sell. It’s that you feel at home in the life you’re building.
