By Toni L. Eaton, RN, BSN, MS
President & CEO, Old Colony Hospice & Palliative Care

“Today was a Difficult Day,” said Pooh. There was a pause.
“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Piglet.
“No,” said Pooh after a bit. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“That’s OK,” said Piglet, and he came and sat beside his friend.
“What are you doing?” asked Pooh.
“Nothing, really,” said Piglet. “Only, I know what difficult days are like. I quite often don’t feel like talking about it on my difficult days either. But goodness, difficult days are so much easier when you know you’ve got someone there for you. And I’ll always be here for you, Pooh.”
And as Pooh sat there, working through in his head his difficult day, while the solid, reliable Piglet sat next to him quietly, swinging his little legs … he thought that his best friend had never been more right.” – A.A. Milne
Being present, listening empathetically, and helping with simple things can go a long way when supporting someone who is experiencing grief. Just like Piglet said to Pooh, difficult days are easier when you know you have someone there, someone who cares. Even being there in silence can be comforting.
Helping with simple tasks like bringing meals, running errands, mowing the lawn, and making phone calls can go a long way versus the common but meaningful offer of, “let me know if you need anything.”
Being a good listener is helpful and supportive. Allowing the opportunity to share feelings and memories without interruption is another way to support someone experiencing grief and loss.
Patience is a virtue especially during the grief process. Grief takes time and is different for many people. There is no defined period for grief. Allowing someone to share their emotions without interruption, judgment, or comparison is a gift you can easily give someone as they grieve their loss.
In summary, a good way to support someone who is grieving is to be patient, caring and understanding without trying to “fix” their pain. Being there is truly the best gift you can give.

About the Author: Toni L. Eaton has served as president and CEO of Old Colony Hospice & Palliative Care since 2006. With a distinguished background in both nursing and leadership, she brings more than two decades of experience to her role in guiding the organization’s mission of compassionate, high-quality end-of-life care. Before joining Old Colony Hospice, she served as a first lieutenant in the US Army Reserve Nurse Corps. Her military service and clinical background have given her deep insight into the complexities of care and the many forms of grief experienced by patients and families. She is a dedicated advocate for accessible, patient-centered hospice and palliative care. She can be reached at 781-341-4145.