By Maria Burke, RN, Founder & CEO
Celtic Angels Home Health Care
We all forget things. We walk into a room and wonder why we went there. We misplace our glasses or struggle for a moment to remember someone’s name. Some changes in memory can simply be part of getting older.
But when memory loss begins interfering with everyday life, it deserves our attention.
As a registered nurse who has spent much of my career caring for older adults and their families, I have seen how difficult it can be for family members to determine when changes in a loved one are simply part of aging, and when they may indicate Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia.
Some of the warning signs we encourage families to watch for include memory loss that disrupts daily activities; difficulty planning or solving problems; trouble completing familiar tasks; confusion about time or place; difficulty with visual or spatial relationships; and withdrawing from work, hobbies, or social activities.
These changes do not automatically mean someone has Alzheimer’s. However, when they become noticeable or begin affecting a person’s ability to function independently, it is important to talk with a physician. Early evaluation can help families better understand what is happening and begin planning for the future.
Caring for the person, not just the disease
An Alzheimer’s diagnosis changes many things, but it does not change the fundamental need we all have to feel respected, safe, useful, and loved.
That is something I believe families sometimes need to hear.
As Alzheimer’s progresses, a person may have difficulty finding the right words, following a conversation or expressing what he or she needs. Something as ordinary as getting dressed, taking a shower or preparing a meal can gradually become confusing or frustrating.
How we respond matters.
Instead of repeatedly correcting someone, we can redirect. Instead of asking complicated questions, we can offer simple choices. We can speak calmly, make eye contact, allow extra time for a response and maintain familiar routines whenever possible.
Most importantly, we can continue including the person in his or her own life.
A diagnosis of Alzheimer’s should never mean that someone suddenly loses his or her dignity or individuality.
Familiar surroundings can provide reassurance
For many people living with Alzheimer’s or dementia, remaining at home for as long as it is safe to do so can provide an important sense of familiarity and comfort.
The favorite chair is still in the same place. Family photographs are on the wall. The kitchen looks familiar. The neighborhood, daily routines and even the sounds of the home can provide reassuring connections when other things are becoming confusing.
Professional in-home caregivers can also help establish consistency. Assistance with meals, personal care, medication reminders, companionship and daily routines can provide important support while encouraging independence whenever possible.
Just as importantly, home care can give family caregivers something they desperately need: help.
Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s can be enormously rewarding, but it can also be physically and emotionally exhausting. No spouse, son, daughter or other family member should feel that asking for assistance means they have failed their loved one. Quite the opposite. Recognizing when additional support is needed can be one of the most loving decisions a family makes.
There is still so much that remains
Alzheimer’s can gradually take away memories and abilities, but there is still a person behind the disease.
There can still be laughter. There can still be music, conversation, a walk outdoors, holding hands, looking through old photographs or enjoying a favorite meal together.
Sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone living with Alzheimer’s isn’t asking them to remember.
It is meeting them exactly where they are in that moment – with patience, compassion and dignity.
And sometimes, simply being there is enough.
About the Author: Maria Burke, RN, is the founder and CEO of Celtic Angels Home Health Care, serving seniors and families throughout the South Shore and MetroWest. Celtic Angels Inc. personalized in-home care designed to help older adults remain safe, comfortable and as independent as possible in their own homes.
