By Susan Drevitch Kelly
Life Transition Coach
Are you feeling stuck in your grief? Are you still adjusting to your “new normal” as you try to navigate life alone? Do you feel that you’ve lost your identity, now that your loved one is gone? Are you asking yourself, “Who am I now?”
Experiencing grief after a loss is normal and part of the human experience, yet is a different experience for each individual. Grief can last months for some people and years for others. Grief is a complicated process. For many individuals, the intensity of grief is likely to fluctuate and can be triggered randomly or when reminders of the loss are present. It might be a song, scent, or movie, “your” restaurant, or a special place or day.
Sometimes, just when you feel like you have turned the corner on your sadness, loneliness and all of the other strong emotions that accompany your profound loss, something will trigger your grief, like a strong wave hitting you in the face, and unexpected emotions can overwhelm you once again.
This reawakened grief can be disheartening, especially if you were feeling like you were doing OK. And, now you feel like you’re sinking backward, like you are stuck in your grief and haven’t made any progress in your healing and recovery. We call this backsliding in the healing process.
Healing, recovering, and reclaiming your life after experiencing a profound loss is not an easy process, but is absolutely possible. Grief is hard work and can be exhausting physically and emotionally, but you will get your life back on track. Life may take a different path than you planned on, or expected, but you will eventually put the pieces back together and move forward with your life.
If you have moved through at least the first or second year of your loss, perhaps already tried grief counseling or a grief support group, but are still feeling stuck in the process of healing and having difficulty moving forward with your life, you are probably dealing with “unfinished grief” or “delayed grief” and may want to consider joining our Riding the Wave Grief Support Group. This is designed specifically for people who are experiencing continuing grief. The group meets at the Scituate Senior Center and is open to South Shore residents.
This group is facilitated by the author, Susan Drevitch Kelly, an experienced life transition coach, and meets on the first and third Tuesday of the month from 1-2:30 p.m. This interactive, workshop-style program provides an open and healing forum for grievers who are still in need of support. Together we explore challenges and hurdles, strategies and solutions to help in your healing process. If you are interested in attending, please contact Kelly Walsh, outreach coordinator at the Scituate Senior Center, 781-545-8722, ext. 5.
About the Author: Susan Drevitch Kelly has dual BS degrees in Biology and Chemistry, Summa cum Laude, Suffolk University; MA degree and Post-graduate studies in Psychobiology, Harvard University; and over 40 years of experience guiding private clients and workshop groups through major life transitions caused by change and loss. She is passionate about helping people redefine themselves and discover new meaning and purpose in their lives. Susan facilitates two grief support groups at the Scituate Senior Center: Grieve Not alone for recent loss and Riding the Wave for continuing grief. She is also available for private grief counseling sessions. She can be reached at sdkellya@gmail.com.
