You don’t want to be caught dead without a great obituary
By Steven V. Dubin
I’m old enough now that I’m starting to think of what people will say at my funeral. Or, as my old business partner Jim Farrell often said, “I’d like to offer the rebuttal to your eulogy.”
I’d like to think many would say, “I liked having coffee with the guy – except for all the slurping noises.”
Or, “Steve made me laugh, I just didn’t know when he was being serious.”
Maybe: “Sure he was a pain in the butt, but he made me think in a completely different way.”
So, in this cheery vein, I recently read a meandering, bittersweet book authored by the obituary writer for a small Alaskan newspaper. (Yes, both Alaska and the newspaper still exist. For now.)
Titled “Find the Good,” the writer Heather Lende takes a completely different approach to summarizing the lives of her friends and neighbors. Instead of a factual punch lists of life achievements and milestones, she meets with the families of the deceased to discuss the “good” things they did for others and the little things that made them who they were.
Lende notes, “We are all writing our own obituary every day by how we live. The best news is that there’s still time for additions and revisions before it goes to press.”
So, do I care what school you went to? Or where you grew up? What clubs you belonged to? Where you worked?
I guess so. But, in addition to all that, I’d like to know that you nursed a squirrel back to life as a child and never forgot it and how fragile nature is. That you owned a snowblower and, without so much as a wave or a nod, also cleared the driveways of neighbors. Or that you like to dance to Motown or just about anything when at the grocery store.
Oh, yeah, and maybe include some final wishes, too.
“Steve requests that you remember all the catastrophic adventures of losing car key, kayak paddle, and occasional children, and how those stories slowly turned into humorous tales. He asks that everyone raise wave a pickleball paddle, tell a bad joke, and never waste a good parking spot. In lieu of flowers, give some money to someone who really needs it.”
May you live forever. But be prepared to be remembered well. Do a quick draft of your obit today.
If you know of a senior who is doing something interesting with their retirement, I look forward to hearing from you! Please email me at SDubin@PRWorkZone.com
Steven V. Dubin is the founder of PR Works, a lightly used public relations firm based in Plymouth which helps small to mid-sized nonprofit organizations and for-profit companies navigate the overwhelming options of advertising. Steve lives in Plymouth with his wife, Wendy. He is a contributing author to “Get Slightly Famous” and “Tricks of the Trade,” the complete guide to succeeding in the advice business. He recently authored “PR 101,” an E-book.
